Time to Enjoy a Healthy Dose of Design Snark...
Building Quotes
from local builders
Have you ever looked at a picture in a home design magazine and thought, "No one lives like that". Well, I've seen a number of these architectural and interior shoots and you know what? You're absolutely right!
Hours of prep work goes into these photographs: Scrubbing every surface in the house. Finding Cupboards to stash the kids' toys. Letting Grandma baby sit the dog. Hiding all that miscellaneous stuff that's accumulated on the kitchen bench. And that's before the photographers and stylists have even arrived! Once they get there they bring a collection of random pieces of furniture that you hate and proceed to place them randomly throughout the house to make it looked 'lived in'.
Suffice to say, by the time the photographs hit the front cover of Dwell or Home Beautiful the home in question looks nothing like it does on a Monday before the kids rush off to school. That said, plates of half eaten Vegemite on toast lying all around the place probably wouldn't photograph well…
Much to the joy of the internet, there are some snarky websites which take great pleasure pointing out these oftentimes bizarre staged homes that don't. quite. feel. right…
Today, I've collected some of my favourite examples of design snark from some of my favourite websites, Unhappy Hipsters, F*** Your Nogouchi Coffee Table (Caution, swearing), Catalog Living and Terrible Real Estate Agent Pictures.
Enjoy!
Life isn't all it's cracked up to be in the real life of these stylish hipsters…
Nearly every time they raised the floortable, another small stowaway emerged.
Via Unhappy Hipsters
Her letter to Santa consisted of just four words: bring me a door.
Via Unhappy Hipsters
Reading was a family affair, to be practiced with books and poses determined by one’s status.
Via Unhappy Hipsters
Nothing says “relaxing” like being tub-judged by your artwork.
Via Unhappy Hipsters
The convection ovenlights were bound to impress, destined to injure.
Via Unhappy Hipsters
No, we're not impressed by your fancy tableaus and self-conscious vignettes…
F**k your charmingly eclectic, sparsely populated shelves.
Via F**k Your Nogouchi Coffee Table
F**k your failure to hide the cord.
Via F**k Your Nogouchi Coffee Table
F**k your ornamental firewood.
Via F**k Your Nogouchi Coffee Table
F**k your air plant-festooned mantler niche.
Via F**k Your Nogouchi Coffee Table
F**k your tiny succulent array that sits atop a series of book stacks.
Via F**k Your Nogouchi Coffee Table
Meet the couple who live in the house you see in all those glossy catalogues…
No Elaine, I don’t think it’s taking our nautical theme “too far” to give our guests the feeling that our living room has capsized.
Via Catalog Living
I’m afraid that’s what you get, Elaine. You wanted furniture “with a history” and these end tables used to be cheerleaders.
Via Catalog Living
Gary and Elaine knew they had made a mistake in the naming of their third son, and no amount of sports equipment they gave him would make up for it.
Via Catalog Living
Oscar wanted Lou to know that even though he’d been promoted from ladle perch to condiments he was still the same old owl he always was, but Lou refused to even look in his direction.
Via Catalog Living
Gary and Elaine’s guests would be angrier about their guest room being outside if they weren’t so preoccupied with trying to figure out what the light fixture was wired to.
Via Catalog Living
And now for some images that could do with a little more staging…
Clever. To avoid spoiling the photograph, the current tenant has disguised himself as a large potted plant.
Via Terrible Real Estate Agent Pictures
Relax, it’s just a really creepy doll with a creepy doll all of its own. Oh, and a shotgun.
Via Terrible Real Estate Agent Pictures
The neighbours are very friendly, and are paid $30 per hour by a local casting agency.
Via Terrible Real Estate Agent Pictures
Best make an early start if you want to reach the sofa before sundown.
Via Terrible Real Estate Agent Pictures
Reminiscent of the bathrooms in the Palace of Versailles, if the bathrooms in the Palace of Versailles had been decorated on a tight budget in the 1970s.
Via Terrible Real Estate Agent Pictures
Your turn. Give us a caption to this image from Unhappy Hipsters in the comments below…
Photo: Andrew Meredith, Dwell
For all your design advice and home improvement projects you can use Service Central to find quotes from local, qualified service providers. Give it a go today - it's free!
About the Author
Brodie Norris runs Lunchbox Architect, a website featuring one exceptional, architect-designed family home every weekday. Yes, the images are staged. But it's better than closeups of Vegemite sandwiches. Check out what's in the Lunchbox Today!
Building Quotes
from local builders
